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Evermore

The actor and the audience.


Raising a tower.


I’m feeling slightly poetic today. It happens. It’s Monday in Hollywood, or BOK, depending on my mood and mask. If you’re simply looking for Diamonds Hadder band NEWS you might want to turn away now. This might be a little philosophical and strange. I woke from a flood of words and ideas Saturday night, ideas and concepts on the topic of building… I’m surrounded by things I’m building. The entire Diamonds Hadder idea is a giant perceptual tower with rocks and boulders and some nights it feels like it could tumble at any moment. And some walls have fell over… so is the process of building. There are also days when I’m standing on the new floor I’ve installed, and I can see farther than I’ve ever seen and a swell of emotion comes over me… a sense of accomplishment… for the tower that wouldn’t exist if not for me and my strange convictions, will and desires. Every week I ride the roller coaster of creation. It’s glorious and it’s terrifying all at the same time, well somedays anyway. Generally, I rise to too meet the planted idea, regardless of outcomes or the crop. I guess I’ve always been a builder of things listening to the wind rather than listening to other people’s windy opinions… making my own stories, rather than spending my days glued to other people’s stories… perhaps you can see the dilemma in that scenario… let’s face it, life is a play filled with actors and the audience, each needed to some degree.... I just always wanted to be on the stage.

The Tower I often refer too is a metaphor for what holds my dream together. It’s the unmovable structure that protects the idea. It’s invisible to some degree, but not. It does weather the storms… and there are many. I did my best on the hillsides over the years with little temporary shelters that kept me dry and allowed me to work on things, but they all blew away in time.. or burned. The winds can get strong. And so I decided to spend some time gathering rocks for something a little stronger these days. It’s hard building your own things… it’s so much easier to just buy in. My problem is I don’t like buying in and most of the time you notice that what you bought is generally shit anyway. It’s not the way you want it and you end up throwing it away anyway. Well, generally speaking of course. And then there are the strings that come with those things. You don't notice them at first, but as you walk you feel them tug at you. There are exceptions to every rule of course. Lord knows I’ve learned that a few times in life. This weekend I found a few new puzzle pieces for the Hadder project. I’ve been very diligent on my morning shoreline walks… collecting wood for the barn fire that’s been keeping me warm and toasty all these November and December nights. I can be relentless in my pursuit of rocks needed for new walls and levels. At the very least, today… in December… I feel alive… and you can’t truly die happy if you’ve never truly felt alive, I suppose. I feel ready for both. Life's hardly as dramatic as I make it out to be... but playing with words is fun to me. Anyway, a lot of things happened this weekend, things that relate to Diamonds Hadder and the tower I’m slowly raising. I spent many hours with the “Rivers End” and it’s very close to releasing. I’m hoping to set it free just before my holiday pilgrimage to the mountains of Remrod. Soon perhaps you’ll see “A Mystery Machine” and hear about a few new characters and storylines in the Hadder play as well, both real and fiction. “Take this all with a grain of salt if you care, and toss it over the shoulder of doubt and fear.” May you build your own tower as you see fit and find the courage to follow your own crazy dreams in life and to grace your own stage, whatever that may be. Stay the course, … you’ll know the way without even thinking about it. And thanks for reading and for wondering about mine. Enjoy a little clip of Rivers End, which I will elaborate on in fine detail when I officially release it to the raven in the narrows.

-j


"Maybe you've seen the end of the stream

and heard the voices in the falls

and met the witch at the only mountain

rising up from it all."

Oh somewhere down at the rivers end,

I could show you where it all began

oh.. down at the rivers end."


Video Info: Random video clips from 2021 and some music from "Rivers End". The audio is just a random export I did last week after my last guitar and bass recording session's. Background Vocal Choirs and FX were muted for this mix. I spend a lot of time in the mountains and so I shared some video clips from my recent wanderings near white mountain where I was commissioned for some snowy readings.




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