The year of the rabbit.

Image: Some artwork I did of the Gallies from the Diamonds Hadder world. They worship sand rabbits.. go figure.

Good morning,.. it’s Friday in the final throughs of April. I took a few weeks off from posting anything as I was enjoying the moment of completing the “Beyond the Breakers” record. So what’s new… well, although my feet have been up in the air I have been doing little hadder things. Lets chat.

Music: Well, yes, I completed the Hadder record. Amazing feeling really, doing such a thing. Lot’s of highs and lows and then suddenly “Somewhere past the end it all begins again”. The last few weeks I’ve been cleaning up some mixes and getting the whole record ready for release. Quietly I’ve been swapping out mixes on the site with the new versions that will be released with the record. For instance “Rivers End’ has finally been mixed… the version on the site for the last few months was basically a guitar and drum mix I did while I was racking the solo’s.. so I spend a day or two going back down the river. Pretty song, brought back some nice memories. Let me share a little story about the day I wrote the passage “It’s hard to believe we’re forever, it’s sad to think you know it all, it’s a gift we play this game at all… somewhere past the end it all begins again… but who’s the man, at the rivers end.” That line was written at 200 north, the studio I first found myself in after the fires. I had a room in an old paint factory that I converted into a soundproof dungeon. In that room was a midcentury dresser that was so large I decided to convert it into a vocal booth. I spent a lot of time in that dresser, ha. I wired a computer monitor into it so that I could run the main computer from inside. I had spent a day tracking those words and was getting nowhere. I had several mixes of vocal takes that all seemed to miss the point… they weren’t building properly. The front of that song is almost like a mini song in front of a heavier track. It takes a while before the song kinda takes off and I couldn’t seem to thread that needle and build the vocal slow enough, so to say, but still feel like it was building. I had spent so many hours doing this and doing that, starting from here and starting from there and it was all just a jumbled mess of attempts. After a few sessions I was burned out and was getting a little angry really, so the next morning I went into the dresser, took the track head to the start of the track, hit record and boom…. That was the take. I notice that running a song from the start is always a good practice when tracking vocals. The best threads are attached well before the vocal lines actually start.. it’s an unconscious thing. I took a ride shortly after that take, with a fresh new mix of my new vocal take… and I recall the feeling I had that day driving along the pacific. I recently heard a famous mathematician talking about solving an equation and what that feels like to him, and I can certainly relate to his words. Vocal lines are puzzle pieces.. that’s all they really are to me. Some puzzles might look like “Active Rock”, some might be “progressive” in nature or maybe just very “Personal”, but they all are just a bunch of unsolved things that I sometimes lose sleep over until I can see them for what they are. We’re all just wandering down a river… to the end… or a beginning, slaves to some degree…. Cast away at times as if we don’t matter… but it’s a long road friends, who really knows what what’s past that tree… inside those falls. We’ll all get there eventually. Anyway, so yes, Rivers End has been mixed and a few others as well have had a little polish. Have a listen if you want.

Art: It takes a little bit of prep work to release a record so I’m finalizing artwork for all the tracks, I’ve added a few new track artworks to the music player. I’m very close to release, I’m just playing around with some alternate ideas now so I have some choices when it comes time to hit the official “Release” button once and for all. The website will be getting a little split soon, I plan on separating the Diamonds Hadder “Novel” and the Diamonds Hadder “Music” in a way that makes the site a little clearer. I did some mock up’s of this process, but I’m not ready to make the switch just yet.

Music Videos: My intention, after the record is released, is to shoot two music videos. One for “Ballad of the Dead Rabbit” and one for “Long is the Road”, both videos have storyboards and really it’s just a matter of closing out work duties on mixes and artwork prep, so that I can focus on the videos. They should be pretty wild looking. I directed a few videos in my days and I have some interesting ideas for these two songs. Videos are a lot of fun. Lets hope I accomplish all this before the autumn leaves start to fall… otherwise I could get lost in the woods before we see a music video this year. Fingers crossed.

Other things: There’s a lot going on in my world. A new track called ‘Kind Winters” is almost done. I might be doing a new record with an old AAW friend. Diamonds Hadder artwork is still talking. Ezra is getting older and I’m just grateful for each day on this earth. What a creative paradise we live in. I can see me sitting in a new tower next year, with my pencil and blank paper… I can see the next 16 stories of diamonds hadder and that view I’ve longed to get back too. What a dream, good luck to you today… enjoy some new mixes in the player if you wish. It truly is the year of the rabbit. Stay the course friends.

-j

Video: A video narration of the 5th field note, "The Wind the Prison and the Leaf".

The Dead Rabbit: The First and the Last

Image: Some artwork by Lord Jules of Hadder and his friends on the day that changed his life.

Good morning. It’s the last Friday of march. The first and the last... well not really. I’ll explain. Todays message will be very deep, I’ll warn you now in case you’re not in the mood.

This week I finished the last track for the record. It’s called “The Ballad of the Dead Rabbit”. Took a while but I suppose that’s life sometimes. Might be a little fix during the week but I think this version is good enough to post. It was the first track I started back before the fires, at least a portion of it anyway. Some vocals were actually tracked then in that home that’s gone now… and some vocals were done yesterday. It’s a little eerie in that way. It’s a very fitting end to this part of my life. A beautiful capsule of grief, loss survival, hope, determination, and despair all bottled up now in a song. I lost some friends along the way and even lost myself a bit.

Somewhere in the middle of this track is the record I made. Every other song was written about things and moments that fell in between the writing of this song. They each have a tale to tell during that time. So, you could say it all started here with the Ballad of the Dead Rabbit. These are the words and the story of why there’s a thing called Diamonds Hadder.

Someone once asked me, what is Diamonds Hadder. Maybe I didn’t even fully know, until now. Now that this record is done, I can finally reflect on the experience of making it. Why did I wake up in the city wearing a mask and calling myself John Evermore? Well, I had a mask long before that… you see my name is #$%&$#* *&%#$#. That’s really me. You would have to walk in my shoes to understand the grief I felt and the loss I experienced to perhaps understand what drives a man to hide away from himself. 200 North is the place where John Hadder was born. What’s become clear to me now, only after finishing this record, is that John Hadder in some way was an idea that I embodied for arts sake. Call it a possession of sorts.. but not really that dramatic. More of a willingness on my part to just obey what I feel at all costs regardless of what it looks like. I’ve done this before in my life. Changed my name for music projects. That’s all this ever was. I’ve always been great at adapting to my surroundings for arts sake. Believe me I was as confused as you.. I had no choice in the matter, the idea of Diamonds Hadder, the story of it, appeared to me vividly at that time in my life.. the year of the fire and beyond..… as I was breaking down… I think simply because it wanted to exist. I’m not really crazy but I do listen to the wind and sometimes it takes me places far away. I thought it first appeared then, just before the fire… but now I look back and see the mask showing up in my life long before that. In old band photoshoots and music videos, in old documentaries I filmed.. and in my home footage… I think I was always supposed to write this book called Diamonds Hadder. The making of this record will mark an interesting time of my life, a confusing time of prolonged healing and deep depression and grief and ultimately hope. A blurred time of reality. A time when I abandoned the real person I was for a moment because I was too lost and broken to care to remember who I was. And so I created something. Having said that, things do matter, there actually is an end to the race. For me, that day is now. I think I finally understand who John Hadder is, where he came from and who I am. I think I’m ready to just be me again on the music side of things… and also ready now to just let Hadder have his book and his story to tell how he wishes moving forward. Thanks Johnny. I’m sure we’ll see you on the road in the future. You may notice some changes to the site in the coming months as I reclaim my own spirit.

To Lord Jules, my good friend from so far away… who has created so much art for me along this incredible journey of a record. You have no idea what this image means to me, thank you so much for capturing this moment of my life. When I look at it.. my eyes drift down to that hillside… and the home that was there… and the man on that porch under the rising moons and fog surrounded by hummingbirds and love as he watched the world spiral out of control and burn away. What a place that was. Thank you sir.

So what now… well. I’ll release it all officially and continue writing. Look for a music video for this Ballad of the Dead Rabbit track coming soon, or at least before I leave for my winter pilgrimages. I’m working on the video now. The rest of the Hadder tale is still coming to me… I can’t wait to see what mess he gets himself into next. For now, enjoy the release of the first 16 stories as they get narrated on the Diamonds Hadder youtube channel each week by various characters from the story. I’ll be around building the next level of this tower. Enjoy the spring. I think I’ll go sit on that hill this week and sip a nice IPA. Forecast is for fog on Sunday. Should be pretty up there. If you’ve come this far, thank you. I can only hope something I’ve created might inspire you in some way.. to stay your own course when the road is hard… and to keep hopeful for better days.

farewell

-johnny

Video: A video narration of the 4th field note, "Red River and the Luna Moth".

Gallies and the last Winter

Image: Some artwork I did regarding the Gallies, they are a new tribe of nomads I envisioned for the Hadder tale. I mentioned them a few weeks ago, they will show up in the next 16 stories later in the year... or next year.... Details are a bit sketchy at the moment, but I think they reside up in the Hills somewhere between Europa and the sanded gateway.

Good morning, the end of march approaches. A little Hadder update today.

Music: I started mixing the final track for the record this week. Actually, blew some speakers in my car doing listening tests. Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Ha. The dead rabbit is sounding pretty grand. It’s bringing a lot of emotions to the surface of my life, but, I suppose that’s what art is all about. You’ll understand when you see the video. So yes, as I’m nearing the final days of tracking I’ve already started the timeline for the Dead Rabbit video. Once the timeline starts… well.. just a matter of filling in the Data. I hope to have a full band to the shoot some of the video sequences, we’ll see how that goes. I’m pretty sure you will see some of the characters from the animations, show up in the music video, singing a thing or two. That’s the plan as of late.

Narration: On the topic of “The Warmoths” and this latest video animation. These were some of the first characters that came to me for the Diamonds Hadder story. There was a day I was building a vocal booth, chopping wood and construction walls in the tower. Kinda like my potato mountain in “Close encounters of the third Kind”, if you know what I mean. When I finally capped the booth off, I opened a track and began vocalizing inside the booth… testing it out. I starting singing a song called “The Warmoths”. Personally, I had never heard the word before and not really sure why I started singing it… but that’s where it started. They became a part of the Diamonds Hadder story then, this story that I’m writing in between making music and digging myself out of the ditch I climbed in a few years back. This field note #3, was the first real mention of these creatures. I imagined Hadder sitting on a hill talking about them. Most of the story comes from his journals… his field notes for Master Zabble, mostly written during the time he was growing up at Killwaughter in the hills of BOK. I mention more about then In the next note as well, at the time I thought it was important to describe these characters early as they will have a very important role in this story. I’ve also commissioned a new piece of artwork this field note, a few weeks ago, although it’s not ready yet. Perhaps I’ll share that next week. We’ll see what Lord Jules comes up with.

Well that’s it this week. I have a lot to do still. It is spring now, although winter is really holding on to the hills of BOK this year. She can try, but the flowers they are coming… no matter what. She does this sometimes, that winter is very stubborn. I’m looking forward to some sun, and the green and yellow hills that dress my old mountain. Here’s a few passages from “The ballad of the Dead Rabbit”.

“Take this heart, take this heart I offer it to you.

But don’t you stop… don’t you stop till it all burns down.

Hail the wolf, hail the wolf who rides the wind.

Who brought you fire.. just to make you sing.

Bring your hell, oh bring your hell to me…

I’ve been waiting here on this hill I called home.

I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain too

It doesn’t matter no more.. I’m done running to save myself from you.

Who goes there pest of my canyon,

I come with news from the end.

Who dares pass these hills of sandstone,

shall he know the wrath of time.

Sins they fall like winter leaves

Call me the master of the weeds

Tending the gardens once a week

Shame some things we can never keep

So I tried to hold it all in

Things I could never be or say

This precious gift of life

Still buries in the end.

I play the fool, you guard the gates

We let the wind decide our fates

Jesters a wolf, who lies in wait

And he called me…. the dead rabbit

I heard the song of the blackbird,

singing in the field of blowing wind

Did no wrong did that black bird learn

Oh he fell, but didn’t burn.

he called me…. the dead rabbit."

Farewell,

-j

Video: A video narration of the 3rd field note, "The Warmoths".