Bella 12:13:23 - 2:47am

Image: Bella hanging out in Gardena at Light Black Studio's while tracking with TOR during my time at 200 North.

Good morning from LA.

It’s been a rough week for me as my girl Bella has passed away. I’m normally fairly chipper and optimistic about things but it’s been a sad few days. Let me catch you up on some Hadder things.

Bella was a Japanese Tosa Inu. She was my little girl, literally. She gave me a kiss on Wednesday night at the hospital and I said I’ll see you in the morning sweetheart. But the morning never came. I was called back in the middle of the night as her heart stopped. I whispered in her ear as she passed away that night, “I love you girl”. It’s hard to talk about that moment. I remember when she was young, before she weighed 150 lbs, I would pick her up and sit her on the table and she would put her paws on my shoulders and just smile. Later in life I would have to sit in front of her and she would still put her paws on my shoulders drooling on me as she smiled that same smile. She lived with me in the home I lost and then again at 200 North while I was working with the band TOR and also writing Diamonds Hadder music. She became the inspiration for Ezra, the character in my Hadder stories. She was a great companion and I’ll certainly miss our walks together above the clouds.  So begins this next season of my life. For now, Bella will live forever inside the memories and songs of my little breakers record. I do believe I will see her again someday.

Breakers Vinyl artwork: Artwork design for ‘Beyond the Breakers” is on a little hold. It’s a good time to sit back and reflect on all the work I’ve done for the “Beyond the Breakers” double vinyl. Just about all the layout design work is done, it’s just a matter of gathering all the photos from the making of the record for the insert inside the gatefold. I’ve gone way back, gathering images from the home I lost, 200 North, TOR days, #408 and the Lex. It was a “Long Road” making the record and I generally always carry around my DSLR camera, so I have lots of images. Rather than rush the artwork, I thought it was much more important to get the images that tell the story of this record. So far it’s looking great but there are more archives I need to go through to finalize the photo collage. Soon enough it will be done. I was really thinking Bella was going to be here through Christmas, so her passing has thrown a little wrench into my initial Vinyl artwork timelines. I was hoping to complete it all before my move, but it’s looking like that isn’t going to happen. Over the next three weeks I’m leaving the LEX and moving outside the city, returning to the canyons that first inspired this Breakers record, to a place I call “The Oaks”. I suppose I’ll finalize the artwork there over the next few weeks once I get settle.

The oaks and New Things: Soon I’ll be in my new tower under the oaks. I’m very much looking forward to this next season of my life. I think I’ll be writing something special there. Perhaps an extension of the Breakers Record. Aside from wanting to complete my Diamonds Hadder novel there and begin the scoring of that novel and record, I think I still have another 8 songs that have been dancing around in my head this year. Songs that could have perhaps been a part of the breakers record. Songs like “The Rock King” which was based on a mediaeval poem I wrote about a king who built a castle of stone for a queen who betrayed him, or “Out of the Black”,  “Gone”, “Quiet Places” and “The Den at Orchard Park”, a few other songs from the TOR era of my life. Then there is a song actually called “Beyond the Breakers”, a somewhat haunting track similar to the lost reflection from early Crimson Glory, and “Child of the Sun” a song about a strange child who has the power to move the sun and shape the course of a great battle. “The Red Recluse” is another idea I’ve been dabbling with, I think the name speaks for itself.  And last but not least, “Kind Winters”, a song that originally was penned lyrically for the Ramsey/Evermore project but that I might redo into a Diamonds Hadder song, as I really love the poem it was born from. We’ll see how things progress into 2024.

Well, I suppose that’s all for now. The Vinyl will drop in spring on No Remorse Records and a few music videos should start to appear around that time as well. After that it’s rehearsals and writing and hopefully some shows in Europe if I can pull it all together. I had a dream that Ezra came to see me at the oaks. She was running around and drooling all over the place. I was so happy to see her. I think lord Zabble is up to something. I’ll tell you about it later.

“Somewhere,

Between what we give and what we’re holding

Out there

Seems there’s a cost to pay for knowing

Who cares

Is the play really worth the showing?

Still here

Between what we lost and where we’re going"

Farewell

-j

Somewhere between what we lost and where we're going

Image: Extended artwork from the Breakers cover, it might show up on the Vinyl gatefold. Maybe.

Good morning, It’s Monday the 27th of November.

“Remember remember

the 5th of November

Gunpowder treason and plot.

I see no reason

Why gunpowder treason

Should ever be forgot.”

I suppose that’s what I think about when I hear the word November. I won’t be blowing up the King and parliament but I do love a good story. I’m on the cusp of a full Beaver Moon today. It’s out there as we speak… crossing the earth under my feet. With so many little things happening let me give a little Hadder update on this moon day.

Diamonds Hadder Rock Hard interview: On December 7th, I have an interview scheduled with Ludwig Krammer who writes for Germanies Rock Hard magazine. This magazine was started in 1983 and if you like Heavy Metal you know about it. In a world where the digital media monster is trying to eat every paper magazine in the world, Magazines like Rock Hard are standing defiantly in the path of that monster. One might say that I might be one of those people standing beside them with an axe at the ready as well. My love for tradition might be a happy death for me indeed someday. I think we need these things.. paper… ink… film… dust and dirt. To remind us of what was. To honor the past. I’m incredibly grateful for the opportunity to share the story of this “Breakers” record in such a magazine. A big thanks to them for reaching out and for offering to spread the word about this thing I call Diamonds Hadder. Look for that interview later in the year. I’ll be sure to post it here as well. God bless the people who stand for something in this world.

Vinyl News: It’s too early to give a definitive date for the release of the Double Vinyl and CD formats of “Beyond the Breakers” on No Remorse Records, but, both physical releases are in production. The art and design phase of production that is. Tracks are also being re-mastered in Europe for each format, plans hatched, and timelines laid out. Let’s just say spring 2024 as that seems to be the safe bet considering general Vinyl production times. I think we are shooting for the Vinyl to be available around the time of KIT 2024, but that’s just wishful thinking for now. We are working on that and I’ll update you along the way as dates become available. Having said all that, my time has been shifted to the Gatefold and Artwork design. Music video production is on halt in LA until that vinyl work is done. Without giving anything away, I hope to include all the important images/photographs and artwork that were created during the making of this record. I’ve said this before, but the record doesn’t stop after the last track was recorded. This record is about the places and things that happened to me during the making of it as much as it’s about the music and words and tracks. It’s my duty somewhat to fill the gatefold with the physical imagery and memories of why this record exists. I’m working on that now.

Bella: Aside from all the Hadder things going on. Lets talk Bella and the Holidays. Bella is my 140lb  Japanese Tosa. She lived with me in that place where the breakers record started. She inspired the Ezra character I often daydream and write about. She is Ezra really. She also lived with me at 200 North for a short time which was a real blessing as most of my days before she arrived were spent talking to the ghost john hadder alone in the dark concrete room in the upper loft of that old building. There was a song called “Hiding in the Dark” on the unreleased “TOR” record that I was working on at 200 north. I suppose you could say it was about me and that place I retreated to after the fires. Anywho, Bella has been fighting Cancer rather defiantly you could say. Chemo treatments are done and now I’m really seeing how strong she is. I mention this simply because I’ll be spending a lot of time with her this holiday. She’s a part of me and a part of this thing that happened to me, called Diamonds Hadder. I often talk about “time” as it relates to various things we do in life… our projects…  our passions… well right now it’s “time” for me to be with her … every time she turns around, I want her to see “I’m there”. I’m hopeful for another year or longer but the reality is that time can be unforgiving and unfortunately unstoppable. I’ll be doing my best to finish up Hadder artwork and music videos during this holiday season with Bella. Let’s hope for more time. If you can, just send some silent good wishes for her. Thanks.

The Oaks: During the making of this record, I’ve moved around a lot. The entire record was tracked in 3 places. It started on the mountain I called home… that place where I awoke… the place where Mr Evermore first found me…. that place that burned to the ground. After the fires I found myself at 200 north, an abandoned and converted paint factory on the eastern side of Los Angeles. This is were I spent some time with the band TOR and crafted the middle section of this record. It’s also where Diamonds Hadder first came to me and where I started crafting the Diamonds Hadder novel I’m working on. Lastly was the Lexington, a small Hollywood studio I rented along with a rather over indulgent rehearsal room #408 on the outskirts of the city. The final tracks were done there between those two “Towers” I called them. Why mention all this, well, I may be moving towers to a new place to finalize everything. A place I call “the oaks”. Somewhere between what I lost and where I’m going. I mention this because I think I might be creating something there, maybe, and I want to make note of this day in “November” just before I arrive there. I think there’s a wolf there I need to talk too. I’ve done all I could do at my little Hollywood Lexington. Now I just need to know how to migrate some hummingbirds. We’ll see how the month plays out.

Before I go, a quick thanks to some new people who have been helping out with Hadder news and things. Dennis Otto at Metal Inside, Thomas Meyns at Metal1, Abattoir at Metal Storm, and Luca Avalon at Heavy Metal Webzine. It's the little things in life that matter more than you know. I truely appreciate the help.

Farewell out there friends.

-j

No Remorse and the Kydone Battle Disc

Image: Artwork from a dream I had of The Kydone Battle Disc and some characters from inside the Holy Temple of the Reds.

I’m under a crescent moon today, literally. Me and Ezra are back in BOK licking our wounds from the first Dead Rabbit video shoot. During one of my starry nights on white mountain, I awoke from a beautiful dream… I saw it.. the Kydone Battle Disc. For those who don’t know, I’ve been slowly working on a novel and somewhere in Europa, the great Diamond City, there’s a sacred temple. It’s the training dojo for the Reds. It’s a rather mystical place, fairly Zen like and inside the temple is a translucent metal disc that hovers in the air with magic. It’s called the Kydone battle Disc. I just wanted to make note of it today as I see it finding it’s way into some sequences of the book. After all, Diamonds Hadder has so much to learn when he arrives in the diamond city.. something tells me he’ll be spending some time on the battle disc. We’ll see.

No Remorse: Well it’s official. I’ve signed with No Remorse Records for the physical distribution of the “Beyond the Breakers” record on double Vinyl and CD formats. I’m rather excited to be working with them and ever grateful of course. With no time to waste, we’ve already begun working on the Vinyl as it will take a few months to press. For me that means taking a breather from the two music videos I’ve been tirelessly working on and getting into the design of the “Breakers” vinyl. It will side track me a few weeks but it’s a fun creative endeavor and I feel like I owe it to the record to be involved in its design. To finish what I started so to say. It took a while but some of the ripples from my rocks are finding their way back to my lonely shore. A quick shout out to Yiannis Dolas at Rock Pages and Michael Kohsiek at Deaf Forever, two true metal road warriors, thank you guys for lighting the first fires. To those of you who've reached out to me with kind words and who've helped spread the word over the last few months or offered to help in any way, Thank you! Every little thing matters to me, always. And finally to Andreas and Chris, thanks for contacting me and for believing in the record. Feel free to check out the No Remorse site, it’s a temple of its own, constructed for honest reasons.. a holding tower for the things that dreams are made of. I’m honored to find a small place there now. On the shelves in such a hall. Thanks NR for creating such a holy place. You can read the official Press Release on the No Remorse Site here. Insta: @noremorserecords

Tour stuff: well, I’ve been approached about a little European tour and some festivals for next year. I’m very grateful for the offers although I’m not sure if Ezra can fit in a plane, so we’ll see. The logistics of flying a band from LA to Europe are a bit daunting, especially traveling with a fanglore. I have an idea to open the fuselage to fit my friendly feline faithfully in full feet first (grumble grumble) but In the mean time, here in BOK.. I’ll be stocking up on “dragon feet treats” which might be needed to coax her onto one of those flying contraptions if we can solve some bartering riddles between now and then. We’ll see. I'm working on it. One thing at a time I suppose.

Hadder: “No, I’m not talking about you girl.” (Softly) I forget how well she can hear.

Ezra: Grumble Grumble!

Hadder: "Oh Nothing"

It’s a late report for me today, normally I’m writing early in the dark hours of the morning before things start to move. I like that time. But today, I’m watching the sunset through the ocean grass outside my tower of tiny dreams. Bok is beautiful tonight. I have so much to do still yet I’m very content with my Grasslandian tree bark tea this evening. Ezra is gazing into the late sun.. sniffing the air and watching the hummingbirds as they yip and yap over territorial concerns. I’m thinking about my tree on white mountain… the one I awoke near… the one from my dreams.. as it’s surely bracing for another winter storm. Perhaps it’s something from my past life…. A sacred place that I can only wonder about. Soon as this vinyl is out from my fingertips, I’ll be returning to see it again for my final dead rabbit film shoots. I’ve mentioned this before, but I buried an old box their with a picture of things that only I know about. It’s safely hidden below some rocks on white mountain. A gift for the witch on the only mountain. It’s almost time to open it again… or maybe it’s just time to leave something new… for her.

Anywho, you know me, I’ll be here working away on the next chapter of this fateful endeavor. Feel free to say hello.

I miss Zabble.

(a quiet whisper is suddenly heard inside the rustling wind)

“Stay the course young hadder, stay the course.”

I heard that, master.

Farewell

-j